For The Love of God: COVER UP.

*EDIT: COMMENTS WERE DISABLED TEMPORARILY. NOW THEY ARE ENABLED!*
 
I just got back from a much needed Caribbean cruise. Now I don’t usually talk about things that aren’t in the fore-front of the news, but I just HAD to! I love cruising, though. There’s nothing better than being in the lap of luxury, surrounded by the soft sounds of the ocean, being waited on hand and foot, and enjoying the nice view of a fat bitch in a bikini- SAY WHAT?

You heard right! I had my cruise ruined because fat people don’t know the difference between bikini and one piece. Hello, heffer, this is a one piece, it is used to cover up all your sinful areas and hold in your dribbling fat. This, is a bikini, it is used to cover up titties and vaginas because skinny girls are required to by law. Learn the two and the value of wearing something form fitting. I just don’t get it, who in their right mind, stands in front of a mirror, weighing in at three hundred pounds in a bikini and thinks, “yeah, this is sexy. I look great!” What kind of fucking mirrors are these people looking into? I want one. Right. Now.

I partially blame bikini designers for even designing sizes above a 16 anyway, there is NO NEED- absolutely NO NEED for a size 3XL bikini. Nothing good can come from a 3XL bikini but an awesome THF blog about overweight people wearing them. I want a refund for this cruise and there needs to be a public service announcement regarding this. Forget about informing people about the dangers of smoking marijuana, we need to inform the world that the word bikini rhymes with tinie-weiny for a reason.

For all of you thinking, “well, it can’t be THAT bad.. I respect the fact that they have a high self image and the courage to wear such things,” I leave you with this last tidbit of crucial evidence. People of the Honest Factor jury, I present to you, exhibit X..X..X..X..X..L!

And that’s the stuff nightmares are made out of. ENJOY!